Goodbyes

by Catherine Xia ‘23

i think lately i’ve gotten

too used to saying goodbyes 

but i don’t want to get used to it.

i want each goodbye to r i p through me 

and t e a r my heart out like it’s the first time 

i’ve ever had to say goodbye permanently

there is no reason, no good reason, 

as to why i should get used to this, 

my heart shouldn’t (it really shouldn’t) 

and yet here i am, 

my heart n u m b to the pain 

this heart-wrenching pain 

can you believe that i got used to this fucking pain? 

goodbye comes too easily, 

as easily as i’m sorry and thank you 

and harder than hello and i love you

and i find that so fucking stupid 

i hate saying goodbyes 

i hate it i hate it i hate it

i don’t want to get used to it

i want the pain to be fresh and 

i want to keep hating goodbyes 

instead of saying it like it’s 

the name of an old friend 

Some Questions Are Better Left Unanswered

by Enuma Anekwe-Desince ‘22

what do you do when you get a timeline

      that answers a question you were too afraid to ask

      too aloof to consider

      too in love to confront

      but grants an answer you so badly needed

what happens when you get the answer you’ve been looking for

      but time doesn’t stop

      the love keeps running

      you’re still falling

      acknowledgement of your heartbreak was not calendared for today

what happens when you learn it won’t work

      not today

      nor tomorrow

      not anytime soon

      not the way you envisioned anyhow

do you shut off the love

      maybe if you turn the faucet a little to the left

      and bang the pipe a bit on the right

      it will stop spilling out of you like Jesus sent the flood

do you block them out of your life

      because if you can’t have them your way

      you don’t want them in any way at all

what if the thing standing in between you and your greatest love

      is your willingness to practice patience

will you settle for lovers who don’t see your soul

      for the rest of your life

      ‘cause you couldn’t wait a little

      train yourself to not be as spoiled

      distinguish a no from a not right now

      but

isn’t the answer sometimes to walk away

      to say goodbye or see you later

      or at the very least to stop and

      put the romance on hold

      for now?